The Weeknd-Save Your Tears

I want to be bad. Even before this horrific pandemic I wanted to bust out of my trap. I am so sick of doing the right thing and being a good girl. And I do have covid fatigue. At the beginning I entered lock down but now I am just so sick of the social isolation I am bursting out.
I recently threw caution to the wind and risked both my heart and health. He was from South America and loves motorcycles. He has thick black hair, beautiful brown eyes, stubble and killer eyebrows. He is a gruff biker teddy bear. I could have easily fallen in love with him. But he just wanted to have fun and I want a relationship. He didn't want to break my heart so we ended things. But before we ended things we had a couple of glorious nights in bed. So I went from social isolation to jumping into bed and exchanging bodily fluids with someone who does not take the coronavirus seriously. He takes almost no precautions and I didn't take any precautions with him. But the way he kissed me...
I take care of my elderly father and often am told what a good daughter I am to him. That in and of itself is loaded but I won't focus on that now. I go back to my original thought. I want to be bad. I am a good white girl from the Midwest. I do my best to not to be a Karen. I am a good friend, sister, cousin, worker and citizen. But it can be suffocating; this trying to be good all the time. This constant putting of other's needs above my own. I feel like that could kill me, not Covid 19. I am only human. And that might be how I ended up in bed with a South American Harley rider.